glowingplant:

alright ma'am, just say that for everyone to hear in the grove

(via kvothbloodless)

metfell:

metfell:

Has a worm ever gotten struck by lightning

(via socialistexan)

woman-becomer:

mortimermcmirestinks:

woman-becomer:

adhd? nah babe, I have ad4K 1080p Widescreen

bud how the fuck do you have 4k 1080p widescreen. does your monitor have these proportions

did you. did you make a whole graphic just to debunk my shitpost? what the fuck. just kiss me at this point. what the hell

(via feraligatr)

anarcho-skamunist:

All dressing is crossdressing because it makes me really cross when I have to get dressed in the morning

(via manywinged)

thesummoningdark:

only-tiktoks:

#ultimate ally mom: forgot child was trans and gave wrong sex talk (tags from @findafight)

(via mlembug)

mrsterlingeverything:

Years into tumblr friendship its like whats ur name btw ^_^

(via puncromancer)

hollowboobtheory:

can’t believe I nearly forgot to share this

(via darknessandterrorandkittens)

reallyreallyreallytrying:

cobblers probably thought their profession would never die out. “people will wear shoes forever”. true bitch but you did not account for other factors

(via feraligatr)

iwilleatyourenglish:

iwilleatyourenglish:

iwilleatyourenglish:

my partner doesn’t understand 99% of technology or the internet but i’ve let him use my instagram a couple times and all that’s really come of it is he’s now obsessed with a specific dog i follow and asks about him like he’s a guy we know

he’ll be at work and i just get texts like this

(via supreme-leader-stoat)

effemimaniac:

normies will call it a “scalp massage” instead of admitting that they like being pet like a puppydog or perhaps a kitty

(via manywinged)

acrypticmuse:

Professionalism sucks I wanna put “😭😭” in my emails.

(via manywinged)

frodolives:

(via manywinged)

gaybastich:

cadmium-free:

terribly charmed by my sibling sending me a voice message that just said “i just always take ibuprofen at the wrong time. i had a headache all afternoon, from three to eight pm and then i took an ibuprofen half an hour before the headache went away! i could have just saved an ibuprofen!”

(via toniins)